Nigerian reality TV star Uriel Oputa has set social media ablaze after her passionate complaints about how “hard” it is to date Nigerian men went viral. According to Uriel, finding a “decent” man in the country is now a rare achievement—no matter how beautiful or successful a woman is. Her comments have brought renewed focus to the growing complexities, frustrations, and changing trends in the Nigerian dating culture.
“You people are so complicated…”
Uriel, speaking recently on the Outside The Box Podcast, said:
“It’s hard to date a Nigerian man, I don’t understand why you people are so complicated. You will see women who are 35, 40, 41, 42, and they are still single despite their beauty. Why? What’s happening? It’s hard to find a decent man in Nigeria. Nigerian men have a cultural belief that there’s always something better. There’s nothing better.”
Her remarks echo the sentiments of many Nigerian women who increasingly wonder why so many attractive and independent women remain single or struggle to find lasting relationships.
Modern Love, Old Traditions
Nigeria’s dating culture is a mix of tradition and today’s realities. Over 250 ethnic groups shape relationship norms, expectations, and pressures. In many regions, family values and tradition are still paramount, while urban centers like Lagos and Abuja have embraced modern, digital dating. Even with these changes, many women continue to face social stigma for being single after a certain age, making the dating experience stressful.
Traditional gender roles continue to dominate: men are generally expected to lead, and women are pressured to wait—a setup that often leads to misunderstandings and mismatched expectations.
The Rise of “Situationships” in 2025
New dating trends are also muddying the waters. In cities all over the country, “situationships”—those confusing, non-committal relationships—are widely experienced. A blend of modern ambition, hustle culture, and rising costs of living have made commitment feel like a luxury. Young Nigerians crave connection but set their own terms, often resulting in blurred lines between friendship, romance, and partnership.
“Late-night calls. Soft ‘I miss you’ texts. A weekend in Lekki. The vibe? Immaculate. The title? Unclear. Welcome to the situationship—Nigeria’s favorite ‘are we or aren’t we?’ relationship dynamic,” a Nigerian relationship blog recently described the current reality.
Technology, Apps, and the Search for Real Love
Urban Nigerians are turning more than ever to online dating apps and matchmaking services in their search for real connection. According to recent reports, more than 200,000 Nigerians currently use dating apps, with Lagos leading in online matchmaking. Many apps focus on appearances, but new platforms like Boo and Tramatch claim to emphasize deeper compatibility and shared values.
Yet, the world of online dating is not without its own headaches. There are rampant concerns about identity fraud, scams, and catfishing. But improvements like stricter verification and artificial intelligence fraud detection aim to make online dating safer for genuine people looking for serious relationships.
The nation’s tough economy and rising cost of living are also playing a major role. As salaries struggle to keep up with inflation—and a flight from Lagos to Abuja now costs about ₦200,000—Nigerians are forced to rethink relationship goals. Many young people, both men and women, see marriage as something for the future, not a present-day goal. Both sides complain that dating often becomes transactional—more about what each person can gain than building a true partnership.
As one online commentator observed:
“The dynamics of relationships are heavily influenced by our social, political, and economic circumstances. Factors like poverty and limited resources create an environment that drives individuals to seek connections that might enhance their own situation, often at any cost.”
For Nigerians living abroad, dating can feel like a completely different world. Some, like Samuel, who moved to the UK, found that there’s less pressure to get married fast. Dating can be more relaxed and about companionship rather than following a set roadmap. “Here, people approach relationships differently. It’s more about personal happiness than meeting societal expectations,” he shared.
The challenges and frustrations have not slowed the business of dating. Nigeria’s online dating market is now worth over $1.3 million, and the number of users is expected to rise as technology and urbanization continue shaping society. Dating apps and matchmaking agencies are racing to keep up by offering more personalized and culturally relevant services.
Quote of the Day
“Being single in Nigeria is not a punishment. Know your worth, don’t settle for less. There’s nothing better outside—appreciate what you have.” — Uriel Oputa
Despite the many obstacles, Nigerians remain hopeful about love. The dating scene continues to evolve, shaped by technology, economics, culture, and changing mindsets. As Uriel’s passionate outcry shows, the conversation around relationships—and what really matters in searching for love—remains as relevant as ever.
